Looking Back
by lonelygirl54
Summary: Formally Maybe Then. Suppose to be one shot, but instead made it so different ch. reflect on different emotions.
1. Maybe Then

Maybe Then

Oh sure she may have been the smartest witch Hogwarts had seen in nearly a thousand years. She was the only one who had the drive to accomplish such high achievements. The young woman had received the top marks in her year, was Head Girl, and went on to become the youngest Mistress of Magic ever. And how could anyone have better friends than Harry Potter and Ron Weasley? She had a large group of friends and family that loved her and her life was perfect. Or at least everyone thought so. Perfect friends. Perfect job. Perfect past. Perfect life.

_So innocent, so perfect. Bright and smiling, always so full of life._

Except it wasn't so perfect. Hermione Granger was one of the smartest witches alive since Rowena Ravenclaw. She had brains, friends, family, job, and looks-everything. But there was one area that she had no clue what do. She had never known love. She had never really dated. She had never been kissed. No guy had ever taken a serious interest in her. 

_But alone. All alone in a world full of confusion and lies._

          She longed to have the relationships that her friends had-someone who cared for her as much as she cared for them. She wanted to love someone and be loved back. She wished that she could obtain the lasting happiness that her friends had acquired, but she knew it was fruitless. There just wasn't time for her to meet a nice guy and really get to know him. 

_Blinded by her innocence and purity; do saints not love?_

          If only she had cared about more than just her studies, maybe then she could've gotten to know the guys that had stared at her with longing. Maybe then she would know something about dating and relationships. Maybe then she wouldn't be so lonely. 

_Reaching in the darkness for a familiar hand. Silent tears fall unseen by other's eyes._

Maybe then she wouldn't be so lonely.


	2. If Only

If Only 

He was the hott guy. Silver-eyed and blond headed, he was tall and muscular. The young man's skin was soft and smooth, a subtle tan tone but otherwise void of any color. He always wore a nonchalant façade, emotion hidden even from his eyes. His voice was deep and melodic; hearts melted every time he spoke. The gentleman was a sweet-talker who wound his way into everyone's heart. Girls wanted to be with him and the guys wanted to _be_ him. He had everything and everything was going for him. He was the epitome of heartthrob. The one everybody loved.

_Flawless and handsome. Perfect in everyway. Wanted by all, hated by none._

Or almost everyone. _She_ never liked him or paid him that much attention. Ever. Granted that he had been an asshole to her during school, making fun of her for everything-literally. Her looks, her family, her friends, her grades (even though they were better than his own), her clothes, the way she said something-**everything**. Draco Malfoy had seen the way his words affected her and it pained him to see her so… defeated. Against his cruel intellect and his cold demeanor, she was powerless. No matter what she said or did, he always had to one up her. Always. It was a game he played with himself; a rule set by his father.

_Mocking and cruel, the hurt he caused was not deserv'd. _

He had never wanted to hurt her, never wanted to make her cry. But he wasn't allowed anything that he wanted. Never given a choice. Everything was just dumped in his lap and he was expected to know what to do. There was no love, no pride nor joy. It was all a public image; keep him in his place. Obey the rules-you have no choice. Obey the rules, or by tomorrow you'll have no voice.

_Mask the hurt, shut the door. Build a wall, human no more._

Nothing to gain, everything to lose. The hurt inside, to far to be undone. An intelligent brain crippled by the emotional pain. Would he never escape, he was already gone. Spirit broken, a lifeless token. An angel, he saw, the Devil's, he was. She was sent from above; at last he knew unmarked love. But his mask set in place; his heart full of hate. His first words just sealed his Fate. He knew it now. If he could he would, change it all. She could've broken him free, set him on wings. If only he'd been nice. If only he had said some kinder things.

_The saint inside slips to no more, locked away behind a door._

She could've broken him free, set him on wings. If only he had said some nicer things.


	3. What It Is To Want

_Go!!_

The raven-haired young man wanted her. She was fiery and full of spirit. She didn't let people push her around. All the green-eyed male wanted was to grab her wrist and pull her into a dark secluded corner, he wanted to make her knees weak with just one kiss.

So 1, 2, 3, take my hand and come with me because you look so fine and I really wanna make you mine.  
I say you look so fine that I really wanna make you mine.

He knew she was a wild thing and liked to live on the edge. She could ask any guy for anything and she would get it. No guy could resist her. Whatever she wanted she got it; all she needed to do was to pout and instantly every guy was lost.

_Oh, 4,5,6 c'mon and get your kicks now you don't need that money  
when you look like that, do ya honey._

She looked so innocent and pure, like an angel. But he knew better. She was far from innocent and pure, just as she was far from an angel. She had messed around with numerous guys before.

_Big black boots, long brown hair, she's so sweet with her get back stare._

Harry noticed when they discreetly left the common room in Gryffindor tower. They never went together. Of course they didn't. But he knew that they would meet up somewhere, once they escaped the confines of the noisy room.

_Well I could see, you home with me, but you were with another man, yea! I know we, _

_ain't got much to say, before I let you get away, yea! I said, are you gonna be my girl?_

But he would never have her. Not now could he have her. There was a time; when he once could've had her, when he was all she wanted, but not anymore. Now she was content to flirt and run around with any guy and every guy, just not him.


	4. Lies of a Broken Girl

_I wanted to know, I love the way you laugh_

_I want to hold you high, and steal your pain away_

_I keep your photograph, and I know it serves me well_

_I want to hold you high, and steal your pain._

The girl hated herself. She had always loved him. Not once had she ever stopped. Everyone believed that she felt for him no more, but it wasn't so. She had only given up on it. There wasn't anything else she could do. He was too good for her. Why would he even want to associate with her, was beyond her reasoning. So instead of pursuing him endlessly, like she used to, she gave up trying. She spent her time with other guys. Trying to forget him and not being able to.

_'Coz I'm broken, when I'm lonesome_

_And I don't feel right when you're gone away._

_You gotta win, you don't feel me anymore._

It hurt her to do this all the time. To sneak out of the common room and wait for one of the others. She saw him watch her out of the corner of his eye, the look of disdain apparent on his face. She sighed. His face, how it held so many emotions, he was like an open book to her. An open book she was allowed to read but never touch, never take home.

_The worst is over now, and we can breathe again_

_I wanna hold you high, and steal my pain away_

_There is so much left to learn, and no one left to fight_

_I wanna hold you high, and steal your pain._

_She_ had him. That _nasty_ jumped up girl had him in _her_ clutches. He never went anywhere with out. Not even to bed. Of course she knew that they didn't do anything, they just fell asleep in each others' arms. Finding comfort and warmth there, and feeling protected. Of course, during the day that traitor joined them. It was always so. The three of them, they never went anywhere with the others.

_'Coz Im broken, when I'm open_

_And I feel like that I'm strong enough_

_'Coz I'm broken, when I'm lonesome_

_And I don't feel right when you're gone away._

She was sick of the games she played. The lies she told, the lies she heard- the lie she lived. Rumors that circulated through the school but never reaching _their_ ears. Everybody knew what she did, everyone but them. She earned a pretty knut for it, it was the only reason she continued. But she would give it all up for him.

A/N- !!!! I updated!! That is all. Good-bye.


End file.
